Sunday, December 15, 2019

70 (15122019)




Was wir getan hätten
wenn es heute nicht anders gewesen wären
wir hätten Kuchen mit dir gegessen, wahrscheinlich Schwarzwälder-Kirsch für dich
weil du die Torte so gerne mochtest
wir hätten dir Gutscheine geschenkt, und auch einen Lottoschein
denn du warst störrisch und hattest immer Hoffnung
du hättest deine nicht immer politisch-korrekten Sprüche gebracht -
nicht ahnend, dass diese nicht politisch-korrekt sind
es hätte ein wenig Streit mit Mama gegeben – aber nicht richtig
und du hättest gelacht und dich über die kleine Feier gefreut
wir hätten unvorteilhafte Fotos gemacht und sie behalten
denn sie wären eine Erinnerung gewesen-

[…...........]

doch wir taten heute nichts davon
an deinem Tag
denn du bist nicht mehr da
und die 70 nur ein weiteres Jahr
wir versuchen alle nur, den Platz zu finden, an dem es nicht mehr schmerzt.
Jeden einzelnen Tag.
Jeder auf seine eigene Art.

Danke für Alles, Heini (Papa)


Sunday, August 12, 2018

Demon


Your best friend is my enemy
your best friend is playing hide-and-seek
on the rollercoaster way too often
and we always know who'll lead

In vain I've tried to crucify your demon
all I did was kill myself
we don't know we are going
we don't know what is left

You and your demon
play Russian roulette
you and your demon
don't let anyone rest

Drawn to smoke and mirrors
stuck on frozen heroes
everything they say is wrong

You and your demon
don't play by the rules
you want your pleasure
I want my truth

In vain I've tried to crucify your demon
all I did was kill myself
we don't know we are going
we don't know what is left


Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Erase you



There's nothing to be found
in this final, twisted round
there is nothing left to say
you're closing yourself off
anyway

It's like you fell right from the sky
but the price was way too high
a light in your own darkness
then everything was black again

How many times do I have to face you?
how many times do I need to chase you?
don't come again, just covered in a different light
I will erase you, I will erase you

How many times do I need to fall apart?
how many times do I have to run and crawl?
don't come again, just covered in a different light
I will erase you, I will erase you

There's nothing to be said
now all your lies are dead
you're broken from the fall
but I won't try to fix you
anymore

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Ghost



Switched the light on
made it brighter every day
Can't believe
the dark is going away

Nights are lost
but won again
something new is happening

But now you're running from the storm
when I call you're never home
wanted to be the first to run
but you beat me to it this time


Been some time
you've been away
God knows
I'm not forcing you to stay
Everything
you said was true
I just chose
to not listen to you

So
I'm learning how to let go
learning how to let go
learning how to let go
learning how to let go
because you're just a ghost

(2x)

Should have been aware
of cheap lies
should have known
your crazy insides
now you run, and you can hide


Been some time
you've been away
God knows
I'm not forcing you to stay
Everything
you said was true
I just chose
to not listen to you

Sunday, December 17, 2017

Failure


Finally free from your poison
I am getting high all alone now
Wasted so much time on your cheap lies
you are the one who planned your own demise

What is it like,
living as a failure?
what is it like
to fuck up your own life?
what is it like, living as a failure
you ruined everything
I hope you never die
no

What is it like,
living as a loser?
you could have everything
but you didn't choose it
what is like,
living as a failure?
I hope you never die

Setting my eyes on the price now
finally free with the lights out
cleasing myself from your dirt
you're the one that's going to get hurt


What is it like,
living as a failure?
what is it like
to fuck up your own life?
what is it like, living as a failure
you ruined everything
I hope you never die
no

What is it like,
living as a loser?
you could have everything
but you didn't choose it
what is like,
living as a failure
I hope you never die

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Everything that doesn't matter


Don't you fear that it could go away
you really thought that I would always stay
boring drops and so much foul-play
leaving this before it all decays

all your sugar pills won't help this time
I'm so empty I could cross the lines


Fall out of line
wasting my time
you're never right
I can't catch me falling
you are everything that doesn't matter
you are everything that doesn't matter

Cold by your lies
electrified
hate your disguise
at the same time
you are everything that doesn't matter
you are everything that doesn't matter

Why don't you silence the voices in your head
you don't ever understood anything I said
need to see you down, but I'd rather look away
you really thought that I would always stay





"Everyrthing tht doesn't matter" copyright by S. M Garcia

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Stay Away

Plotting to run away
Or stay for one more day
All the ashes are starting to burn again
All the trees are starting to turn again

Bury myself in my lies
No place to compromise
Need to live my visions now
It’s so empty, everything is empty

And as I stay away
Your whole world will turn to grey
As I stay away
I want to crush you and everything you say
And as I stay away
I run a thousand miles per hour to another day
As I stay away
I feel empty, everything is empty

High on eternal dreaming
Torn masks and evil scheming
All the ashes are starting to burn again
All the trees are starting to turn again

Bury myself in my lies
No place to compromise
Need to live my visions now
It’s so empty, everything is empty